Help Desk - Jokes

Posted by V.Prashannth-The Avatar Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Trouble with word

Support: "Anee Backer for MAXX c, may I help you?"

Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word."

Support: "What sort of trouble?"

Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",

Support: "Went away?"

Customer:"They disappeared."

Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer: "Nothing."

Support: "Nothing?"

Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Support: "Are you still in Word, or did you get out?"

Customer: "How do I tell?"

Support: "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer: "What's a monitor?"

Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer: "I don't know."

Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer: ......"Yes, I think so."

Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer: ......"Yes, it is."

Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer: ......"Okay, here it is."

Support: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer: "I can't reach."

Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

Support: "Dark?

Customer: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Support: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer:"I can't."

Support: "No? Why not?"

Customer: "Because there's a power outage."

Support: "A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Support: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Support: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Support: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Beautifull help desk conversations II


Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.

Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"

Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."

Customer: "Now what do I do?"

Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"

Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."

Customer: "How do you spell that?"

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Beautiful customer's

After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. 

Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. 

When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. 

The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."

-----------------------------------

A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as "hibernate." 

Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked.

-----------------------------------

Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5.25-inch diskettes, but she had only a 3.5-inch disk drive on her computer. The technician said she had two options: Get a second disk drive, or use 3.5-inch diskettes. 

The customer called back later, now complaining that her disk drive was making a terrible noise. And this despite the fact that she was using a 3.5-inch diskette, she said. 

After a bunch of questions, the technician determined the caller had used a pair of scissors to trim the 5.25-inch diskettes to fit the 3.5-inch drive.

British Airways flight 602


"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. 

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. 

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. 

"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. 

"That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

Beautifull help desk conversations

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.


Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."

Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."

Support on cup holder

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

Technologically Challenged

Just in case you think you are TC ("Technologically Challenged"), the following is an excerpt from an article in the Wall Street Journal:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later, a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

7. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer," The user had tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

8. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened," The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

9. Another customer called Compaq Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What Power switch?"

10. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with that disk. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in.," The user hadn't realized "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

Test your IQ

Here's a one question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day......
A person who can't speak wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of
brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper, and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.



He opens his mouth and says.
I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."

Posted via email from Prashannth.V

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