1. Teacher: Ramu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
   Ramu: Me!

2. Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
   Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

3. Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
   Shamu: Here it is!
   Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
   Ramu: Shamu!

4. Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
   Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

5. Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also
   admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
   Ramu: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

6. Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
   Ramu: Don't bite any.

7. Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would
   I be showing?
   Ramu: Brotherly love.

8. Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
   Father: No. Why do you ask that?
   Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

9. Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
   Ramu: A teacher

10. Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty?
    Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

11. Teacher: Ramu, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
    Ramu: You told me to do it without using tables!

12. Teacher: Why are you late?
    Ramu: Because of the sign.
    Teacher: What sign?
    Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

13. Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    Ramu: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."

14. Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
    Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

15. Ramu: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
    Shamu: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

16. Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"?
    Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    Teacher: No, that's wrong
    Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
17. Ramu: My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
18. Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
    Ramu: "The moon".
    Teacher: "Why?"
    Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the
    day time when we don't need it".

19. Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ".
    Ramu: I is...
    Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am."
    Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

20. Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
    Ramu: "HIJKLMNO"!!
    Teacher: What are you talking about?
    Ramu: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

21. Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
    Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
    Teacher: "What do you mean?"
    Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
    Teacher: "What about your mother?"
    Ramu: "She's a woman".

22. Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
    Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
    Ramu: Your name on this report card.

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