Sardar in train
Sardar : I hav'nt slept all nite in the train. Friend : Y? Sardar : Got upper berth. Friend : Y did'nt u Xchnged? Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to Xchng in the lower berth..
Sardar - Teacher lecturing on population
A Teacher lecturing on population:
In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up and says: we must find and stop her !!Sardarji filling application form
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes !Sardar wins a lottery
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave him 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!Sardar proposed a girl
Sardar proposed a Girl
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Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'
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Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
Sardar writing to his son
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.Sardar on Manmohan singh
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM'' Note: Manmohan Singh is the Prime Minister (PM) of INDIASardarji Urine Test
Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?" First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."Sardarji Urine Test
Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?" First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
An interview for the post of electrical engg.
once a sardar ji went for an interview for the post of electrical engg.
desk: so you are coming for this post. sardar ji: yes sir. desk: so tell me how does an electrical motor runs? sardarji: o ji its very simple.TORRRRRRRRRRR..........
Sardar's mobile bill
Sardar: Can I know my mobile bill, please?
Call centre girl: Sir,just dial *123# to know your current bill status. Sardar: (He got angry and..)You stupid... Call centre girl:Sir,I'm sorry, anything wrong? Sardar: I'm not asking my current bill.I'm asking my mobile bill.. Don't be a fool. Be wise like me. Call centre girl: ???!!!Looks like a foreigner
sardar returns from London. He calls his wife and asks her, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
She says no. The answer angers him. "Look carefully, do I look like a foreigner?" She again replies in the negative. By now the sardar is fuming. He yells: "Come close and see, do I look like a foreigner?" The wife says: "No." The sardar who is seething with rage says: "All those women in London were fools. Every time I went out they would say: `Look a foreigner`."SARDAR'S ESSAY
Once a sardar had to learn two essays for the exam.One is about friend and the other is about father.He had studied only about friend.But in the exam the essay asked was about father.Sardar didn give up.He replaced father with friend in the essay and it read: I am a very fatherly person, I have lots of fathers, My best father is my neighbour. He ended the essay as, A father in need is a father in deed....!
Napolean and Sardar
NAPOLEAN: "In my Dictionary there is no word called 'IMPOSSIBLE'....
Sardarji: "What's the use of saying it now,you should have checked it before buying THE DICTIONARY !!
Sardaar and Tiger
Sardar Dhakaal Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely. Zoo people requested sardar to be inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun.
While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. Once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. Thetiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward. NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY??
ANSWER BELOW............
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MORAL: "There are Sardar Communities in Tigers
too".
An electric motor
in an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? SARDAR: dhuurrrrrrrrrr.. Interviewr shouts: stop it ! SARDAR: dhurr dhup dup dup dup.Sardar's Match Essay
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"Sardar standing in mirror
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing. He said I am seeing how I look while sleeping.Sardarji with ATM
Aeroplane
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry .. we still have one engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"Sardar in a pub
Two Sardarjis went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their packets and started to eat them. 'You can't eat your own sandwiches in here,' complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped their sandwiches.Sardarji attending IAS Interview
One young man went for an IAS Interview.
"When did India get independence? " He was asked. "The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied. "Who was responsible for our independence? " "There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied. "Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?" "Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied. The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?" He replied, " The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947." Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?" He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another". The interviewer was incensed. " Hey! Are you mad or what?" He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report ."Beauty and the Beast
Once upon a time.... a sardar was driving his scooter and someone said hey look the beauty and the beast the sardar got off his scooter and said who called my wife the beast.
Sardar with charles
Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
Salary for sardar
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?
Sardar as driver
2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
Crorepathi sardar
Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks be hind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..
Sardar B.A , M.A
Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa, last year the name-plate outside your house read Santa Singh B.A. This year it read Santa Singh M.A., When did you finish yours Masters Degree?
Santa Singh: "You don't understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is Married Again.
Santa Banta Joke
Sardar filling a form
A SARDAR went to a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up.
You know why? FORM says " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".Sardar: about a running race
Sardar: why r all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?Sardar and his daughter
"Santa ! Your daughter has died" Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
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At 50 th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
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At 25 floor: I'm unmarried !
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At 10 floor : he remembers "I'm Banta not santa"
Sardar and romantic date
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDAR'S GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM, DARLING ON OUR
ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
Sardar divorce
A Sardar and his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide, you have 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEARFlash news: sardars & plane crash
Flash news:
A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Sardarji and his lunch
Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay.
One is a Mallu, the secon! d is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji. Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together. One fine day-the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tomorrow, i will jump from the 20th floor and die".Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says, If I find fish in my lunch box tomorrow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die". Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tomorrow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor" Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies. The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies. Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps
from the 20th floor and dies. In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch". The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch" The sardarji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch!"
Driving the train
A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.
Sardarji and his new car
One day Sardarji was driving his new car. Suddenly, he collided with a bicycle. The accident caused much damage to the bicycle and the guy was furious. Sardarji ran towards him mumbling apologies, but the man was not pacified.
He shouted at sardar got a stout stick and starting hammering it on the windshield. Sardarji was shocked and tried to take the stick from him, requesting him to stop. But the bicycle man (who was incidently very stout) got hold of the Sardarji and carried him ten meters away from his car. He drew a small circle near the road with the stick and asked Sardarji to stay inside and not move outside the circle, threatening him with his stout stick for better measure. Now our Sardarji was not very brave at heart and coolly went to stand in the circle. The man goes back to what he had left in the middle and starts on the headlights. After this, he starts on the rearlights. As soon as he breaks the first one, he hears a faint chuckle from the Sardarji. He breaks the other one, now he could distinctly hear the Sardarji laugh slightly. Enraged, he goes to the Sardarji and asks him why he was laughing. Sardarji says that it was nothing. He comes backs and resumes his assault on the poor car and as he goes on in this act, Sardarji's laughs become louder and louder. Enraged, the bicycle man increases his assault , but the laughs keep on increasing rather than decreasing. At last, the bicycle man can't stop himself. He goes to the Sardar and taking him by the collar, asks him the reason for laughing. Our Sardar at first says it was nothing, but when the man starts getting really rough, he breaks down. He says "If I tell you, you will beat me". The bicycle man, now very curious, promises not to do anything if the Sardar tells him. Satisfied about his safety, our Sardarji says "You know, while u were engaged there, I came out of the circle seventeen times.Wife never agrees
Sardar complained to his friend about his wife "My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years."
Mrs Sardar (Rajsi) intervened, "Not six we have been married for seven years!"The suicide bomber squad
Sardar joins the suicide bomber squad. So when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp his leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.
He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now? Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers. Sardar: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now? Boss: Wait for more. Sardar: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now? Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after. Sardar pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.!!!Sardar
Sardar 1:If you tell me what's there in my basket, I'll give you all the EGGS in it.
Sardar 2: (Thinking...) Sardar 1:And if you tell me how many eggs are there, I'll give you all the 7 EGGS!! Sardar 2: (Thinking...) Sardar 1:And again if you tell me which bird's eggs these are, the HEN is also yours.... Sardar 2: Your questions are too tough...So give me a clue or hint??? Sardar 1:!!!!Test between India and Australia
In a Test between India and Australia, a fiery Lee was sending quivers down the Indian spine. The new batsman, our sardar, walked slowly to the crease, not feeling unlike a lamb at the slaughter house.
As Lee thundered in, suddenly sardar stood up in the crease, and signalled that he wanted the sight screen adjusted. Adjustments were made and Lee was ready to come in again. Once again, in the middle of his run-up, sardar found something disturbing in the sight screen. Indeed, this went on a few times before the irritated umpire, Steve Bucknor walked up to the batsman and enquired, "Where do you want the sight screen, for God`s sake?" Santa asked, with an ounce of fear, "Could I have it between Lee and me?"!!!Sardar's Wish
Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died
> peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d
> bus he was driving..
First day @ school
Bobby returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father.
"Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am a Sardar?" "No son, that's because you are intelligent." Bobby seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am a Sardar ??" "No , that's because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bobby poses another question to his father. "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am a Sardar?" The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."Sardarji virus:
Hi, I�m sardar. Since I am not skilled in programming please delete all your
inbox messages and switch off your mobile. Thanks for your help. Now
pass this virus to others.
Sardarjis wedding
Sardars: A traveler & a TC
A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardarji in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat.
5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardarji. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, who also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the sardarji out of the bathroom. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member"Sardar in china
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
Sardarji Birth
Sardarji: Punjab . Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye What part part, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
Sardarni Painting
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
Sardar in Tamilnadu
One sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in burma bazaar.
His tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which sardar told no,no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok , i will give it for 1500 Rs for which sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost. Our sardar asked whether he will give two.Sardar writing exam
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.
He takes his seat in the Examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperatley throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator,alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half an hour". "But yaar", he says, " I am rechecking my answers."Letter to Bill Gates
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought acomputer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to
your notice. 1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is. 2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '
button. 3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this. 4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting. 5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home. 6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? 7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat. 8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to
collect ur money. 9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that? 10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one
icon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ? 11. And in 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that. Thanks
Banta Singh�
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