Friends Find Their Way !!
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Thursday, April 29, 2010
911 emegency joke
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A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’
Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency!’
Suhash Gopoinath - The Youngest Entrepeneur
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AT THE INDIAN INSTITUTE OF SCIENCE, BANGLORE
Suhas was at the gates , on his way to the auditorium to attend the seminar on ‘The Education System in India’ when a security person did not allow him to enter as he was very young and didn’t have an ID. He said to Suhas that it was a seminar, only for CEOs .”I don’t have my ID card but here are the visiting cards of the people I know“, suhas said.
Just a few calls and he was in , not in the audience but on the dais.
SUHAS GOPINATH TILL 14
He was born in Banglore and had a dream of becoming a veterinary doctor. But when his elder brother once showed him the world of internet, his fascination started. He was enthralled by the power of the internet, web, email and all. Within a year, he had taught himself how to create and design a website, HTML, ASP and all other related software that he could lay his hands on. He was a ‘good’ student at academics till then but became an average student when he started exploring his new found world in cyber cafes. And that was when he started COOLHINDUSTAN.COM along with his friends (He abandoned that project when it was hacked and the logo was changed to coolpakistan.com). To start that he needed money but his parents refused to invest . He then wrote to Network Solutions headquartered in California, and they readily agreed and offered him a job and would also have paid for his education in US. But all he said was NO. He wanted to do the stuff for his own company rather than for other’s.
HE WAS 14 WHEN HE MADE THAT CHOICE… perhaps that was when he became an entrepreneur.
AFTER 14
He became the youngest Indian to start a company, when he found GLOBALS INC., at California, in USA (because one has to be 18 yrs to start a business in India), at the age of 14 in 2000. Its an MNC with offices in more than 11 countries that offers quality solutions to web, mobile, multimedia, e-commerce etc. He had even started a branch in Karachi, Pakistan (Initially our government opposed the idea but he convinced them that GLOBALS inc., was an US based firm and not of Indian origin ). The company expanded from 4 people to 400. In 2005, a Houston Investment firm approached him and offered 1 Billion $ for a majority stake. The answer was NO and he said “Why should I sell my baby?”
SUHAS at Present
He is now completing his bachelor’s degree in Information Science in Banglore. And he has already applied for a course in artificial intelligence at Stanford University (and hopes to see his icon Bill Gates).
Once asked to give a message to would-be entrepreneurs, he replied “I don’t think that I am mature enough to advise others, but if you have it in you, go for it. One should also make time to enjoy other things in life. With work, you get too busy to even repent”.
FUNNY FACTS
A few years ago ……
- He buys a car but wouldn’t drive because he had no license.
- He, as a CEO, successfully accomplishes a deal but wouldn’t sign the contract !!
- He even grew his Mustache to camouflage his student looks.
At present, the average age of the employees in his company is around21. The senior most employee is 26 yrs old with the youngest being 12 yrs, (Obviously they will not allow the youngest to do a full time job, abiding by the Child labor Act) who does web designing for them.
Suhas says
“Enterprise is more important than high academic qualifications”
He is not yet 18, but he dreams of becoming the Bill Gates of India.
![Suhas Gopinath [left] with a colleague](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_vMRAGgIuuJEQLyDf9PUX-H_G6LKw6VDEi2tEG6-mwcnyxaqIXqXNFJ6tsxTPMqlfKOBxHl6zSoEa_p8Po1qgzyr-mKOG1znuey27AU7J9Z_SmzJn8kvT5XdlB4iwXbff3Hyv4xOkXbtVY=s0-d) Suhas (L) is still too young to sign some contracts under Indian law |
It's no teenage fantasy for Suhas Gopinath, born and based in the southern city of Bangalore.
Government officials and local media here say he is the world's youngest chief executive officer (CEO) of a software consultancy. His company, Globals Inc, is registered in California's Silicon Valley.
At an age when other teens are whiling away time at bowling alleys or go-karting, Suhas is busy drawing a road map for his fledgling company.
The company's revenue is nothing compared to the Microsoft empire, but given time Suhas is confident of raking in a fortune.
"We are hoping to register a turnover of around $1m in the next five years," says Suhas, who launched Globals Inc with two like-minded friends in 2000.
 |  I have sent [Bill Gates] several e-mails but there has been no response  Suhas Gopinath |
The firm helps clients in web design, online shopping, internet security and credit card payments.
It hasn't all been plain sailing though - Suhas found his age was a problem went it prevented him from signing a major contract with a foreign outsourcing firm.
"The Indian arm of US-based Smith & Gale approached my company to outsource 50 of their projects in Singapore and Hong Kong but we lost the opportunity because the law did not allow me to sign the contract," Suhas says.
Local reputation
The entrepreneur also had to register his company, which employs 60 people, in the US because Indian law regards him as a minor.
As well as Bangalore and California, the company has representation in New York, Maryland, Virginia and London.
"My idea is to make it an Indian company when I turn into a 'major'," says Suhas.
The teenager is quickly gaining a strong local reputation.
 Suhas hopes to go to Stanford University and meet Bill Gates |
The local government allowed him to participate free of charge at the recent Bangalore.IT.Com, described as Asia's largest IT event
Thousands of would-be employees flocked to his stand, many wanting to be part of his venture.
Suhas says he is looking for people in their teens or 20s. Enterprise is more important than high academic qualifications.
"The upper limit is 25 years," says Suhas, which just about allows in the vice-president of operations, Manohar VND, the oldest member of the team.
Mr Manohar says: "I may be older but Suhas is more experienced. He is the boss."
Suhas adds: "I don't treat my colleagues as employees. This is like a family. Everybody likes the friendly environment."
Suhas' ambition as a child was to become a vet, but the internet fired his imagination when he was 14.
Pakistan hacking
After initial resistance, his father, a retired defence scientist, encouraged him by buying him an internet-linked computer.
Suhas calls it the first investment.
"I used to surf and read up a lot on Microsoft and Dell. Bill Gates is my icon," he says.
Suhas' passion drove him to develop his own web page called CoolHindustan.com, aimed at Indians living abroad.
US-based Network Solutions Inc was impressed and certified him as one of the world's youngest web page developers.
Barely two months after the launch the site was hacked into and changed overnight to CoolPakistan.com.
"It was the worst time of my life," says Suhas, who received threatening calls.
Undeterred, Suhas set up his company, which he says will be a platform for youngsters to develop their talent and provide exposure to technology.
The company plans to go into embedded software and network solutions in the coming year.
Suhas has already applied for a course in artificial intelligence at Stanford University, from where he hopes to fulfil his fantasy of meeting Bill Gates.
"All my attempts so far have failed. I have sent him several e-mails but there has been no response."
His colleagues say Suhas is not a guy who gives up.
Indian Prodigy Builds Internet EmpireSuhas Gopinath started a software company at age 14 and has since become one of the most remarkable success stories of the Indian IT boom. Now he's 21 and runs a world-class business with 400 employees. Kala Gopinath worries about her son, Suhas. He eats too little, sleeps too little; "This can't be healthy," his mom frets. She piles more vegetables and two idlis -- white dumplings made of rice and lentils -- onto the 21-year-old's plate. "Today he lay on the sofa until 4 a.m. working on his laptop. Then at 8:00 he went into the office." Now it's noon, and Suhas has come home for lunch -- just a five minute walk from the office. "My mother insisted that my workplace be reachable without a car," he laughs. Gopinath is the CEO and co-founder of Globals Inc. -- an up-and-coming IT company that produces Web sites and software, employs 400 people around the world and has become a national icon. The Limca Book of Records -- the Indian version of the Guinness Book of Records -- lists him as the "World's Youngest Chief Executive." Politicians in his home country celebrate him as the model Indian: Look what our young people can achieve! "Why should I sell my baby?" Suhas Gopinath could be chauffeured around in a big car. He could live in a penthouse or buy his parents a villa in a nice neighborhood in the suburbs. But instead, the family lives in a medium-sized house; he drives a small car; he doesn't have a trendy cell phone; and he doesn't wear designer clothes. In 2005, an investment firm from Houston, Texas offered him $100 million for a majority stake in Globals. He refused, "after several months of discussion, admittedly." The reason for his negative response: "Why should I sell my baby?" During the mid-1990s, the first Internet cafes began opening up in Bangalore, with one going into operation nextdoor to Gopinath's house. "My brother Shreyas took me there. I was fascinated. The Internet changed my life," he says. He spent every spare minute online. He taught himself how to build Web sites. "He spent every rupee he had in the Internet Café," says his mother, disapproval still evident in her voice. Gopinath admits, "I had been a good student up until then. After I discovered the Internet, I was an average student." Before finding cyberspace, he had dreams of becoming a veterinarian. The struggle for "Cool Hindustan" In 1998, when he was 13, Gopinath launched his first website: www.coolhindustan.com. "I wanted to provide Indians all over the world with a forum to post public events, tips for eating out and everything else they're interested in," he recalls. The Web site became popular -- including with hackers in Pakistan. They attacked "Cool Hindustan" and replaced the Web site's logo with "Cool Pakistan." "That was a terrible experience," Suhas says today. He abandoned the project. By then, talent scouts in Silicon Valley had already heard of Suhas Gopinath and the company Network Solutions invited the young Indian to its headquarters in San José, California. It was the first time he had ever boarded a plane and the first time he had been outside India's borders. "They offered me a job. They also would have paid for my education in the United States," he says. His answer, though, was no. "Why should I do for another company what I could do for my own?" That's when he made the choice to become an entrepreneur. He was 14. It was a decision that faced resistance from many sides. His parents pressured him to finish school and study something practical, and there was the temptation of a secure job. Indian law also proved an obstacle -- you have to be at least 18 years old to start your own company. A Californian detour Gopinath wasn't going to wait four years. He cheated: Along with three friends, he registered his company in San José. "Online, of course," he says. He wanted to name the company Global Solutions, but that name was already taken. He opted for Globals. Today, he still regrets that he wasn't able to start his company in Bangalore. India's most important politicians know the young man. He was even granted a private conversation with President Abdul Kalam. "I told him that the age limit for starting a company has to be removed," Gopinath says. Kalam promised him support, but so far nothing has changed. The law wasn't the only obstacle, though. Potential customers canceled their orders when they learned their business partner was barely 14. "Many people didn't take me seriously," he remembers. As soon as he began sprouting facial hair, he grew a moustache, though he has, on the advice of friends, since shaved it off. Ultimately, Gopinath managed to overcome every obstacle. Word gradually spread about his company's abilities and Gopinath hired more and more people and opened up more offices. He became the boss, employer, and chief executive -- all in mid-puberty. Most of his employees are just as young: The average age is 21 with the oldest being a ripe old 26 and the youngest 12. Gopinath is unable to give the latter a full time job -- that would amount to child labor. "But we gave him a computer with an internet connection," Gopinath says. "Now he works for us sometimes on Web design." 200 Customers the World Over Meanwhile Globals has amassed 200 customers across the globe and now has offices in 11 countries with some 65 percent of company turnover coming from Europe. The young Indians have become particularly good at identifying unfilled market niches. They developed a software product for schools, for example, allowing teachers to easily enter grades and attendance and enabling parents to check that their children are showing up to class -- a kind of electronic class register. The Indian government was thrilled with the idea and recently contracted Globals to set up the program in 1,000 schools. Now that he is 21, Gopinath is thinking of transfering the company headquarters to India -- even though some 125 people now work for Globals in San José against only 25 in Bangalore. What would happen to the employees in the United States? "We'll see," Gopinath says. "The new developments are coming mainly from Bangalore." Going to university on the side Bangalore would certainly be cheaper. Globals employees there earn between 20,000 and 25,000 rupees a month, the equivalent of between €400 and €500 ($540 and $675) -- a good wage in India, but still a pittance compared to the €1,100 ($1,485) that colleagues in Western offices are earning. "For us, money isn't why we work for Globals," says 22-year-old Gayathri Kumar, who is responsible for finances. "The atmosphere and the fun are much more important to us. There aren't any hierarchies here." Gopinath's father, M.R. Gopinath, once a scientist at the Defense Ministry, now acknowledges that his son made the right choices during the last seven years. They are proud parents, but they still haven't let him go. "To us, it's important that he gets a degree," the father says. "Education is the most important thing in India." His son has listened and is now studying engineering in Bangalore on the side. But it's difficult to find the time; he just skipped an exam because of a conference in Germany and the next chance to to take it is one year from now. At university, Suhas listens to lectures and even gives some himself occasionally, to people who are often decades older than he is. Sometimes, he says, he's sad he didn't have a youth like most of his friends. They went to the movies while he sat in front of his computer and worked. And there's another thing: "It bothers me that even my fellow students call me 'sir,' take pictures of me with their cell phones or ask for autographs." Gopinath shakes his head. "I never wanted to be a star."
Teenager hopes his firm will become another Microsoft Bangalore, India |
Seventeen-year-old Suhas Gopinath, who heads Globals Inc, lost his first big business opportunity with a Singapore-based outsourcing firm because he was too young under Indian law.
"SingT Inc approached my company for outsourcing some 50 of their projects," said Gopinath, dressed in a navy blue blazer and sitting at his company's stall at India's premier IT event in Bangalore.
"But I could not go ahead and sign the contract a couple of months ago as I am not a major yet," he told AFP.
Gopinath said his ambition in life had been to become a veterinarian - until the computer bug bit him at the age of 14.
At that time he developed his own web page called CoolHindustan.com, a portal targeted at Indians living abroad giving news, weather, voicemail and other features.
Seven days after he put up his page on the internet, US-based Network Solutions Inc, a company owned by Nasdaq-listed Verisign which develops internet services, acknowledged his ability and certified him as one of the world's youngest web page developers.
"That was when I decided I should launch a company of my own and presently I have 60 students from all around the world working with me," Gopinath said.
"Network Solutions gave me a sponsored trip to visit their facility in the US (in 2000) and later offered me a job. But I told them that was not possible as I wanted to run my own firm in India," he said.
After that, Gopinath, who spends most of his spare time with his dog named "Bushy", set up Globals Inc with the help of three other colleagues and registered it in the United States.
Now the firm helps their clients in applications such as web designing, storage management, online shopping, internet security and credit card payments.
"I wanted to develop a platform for youngsters to develop their talents and to help them understand and get exposed to technology," said Gopinath, who started out exploring a computer at a cyber cafe in India's technology hub of Bangalore, home to more than 1,000 foreign and domestic technology firms.
"I did not register my company in India as one has to pay taxes and there are other hassles," he said. "The rates we charge are very cheap. If you want to set up your own site we charge only 300 rupees ($A9.23).
"Most of the projects we undertake are small ones which do not require a memorandum of understanding or any legal pacts," he said.
His team members or employees are all under 22 years of age and include Indian and foreign students living in the US, Britain and Canada.
They work through the internet, with specific job functions posted on message boards for each employee.
The firm has a designated chief information officer, chief technology officer, chief operating officer and even a vice-president of human resources.
"The company is not a money-making machine. Only students below 22 can become employees. The aim as of now is to get more and more students to come on board," Gopinath said.
Indian employees of Globals Inc work out of cyber cafes, where they have to pay 15 rupees (50 Australian cents) an hour.
"When I look around I see a lot of guys of my age hanging out with their girlfriends. I do not feel bad as I have a mission to make my company another Microsoft," Gopinath said. "Bill Gates is my role model."
AFP
Biography
Suhas Gopinath was born in Bengaluru, Karnataka, India. At the age of 12, he launched a web site called CoolHindustan.com[1] but when the logo was hacked to display "CoolPakistan", Mr. Gopinath reportedly abandoned it.[2]
As a teenager, he wanted access to the internet but found the 4 dollars to be too expensive at his local internet cafe. So in exchange for working there when the owner needed a break, he got free time on the internet.Fast-forward six months, and Gopinath had taught himself how to build websites and was pitching cut-price portals to bricks-and-mortar firms in the US.[3] He set up his own company which he kept a secret from his family who disapproved of entrepenurialism which he ran from the internet cafe. The Company called Globals Inc had to be co-owned by someone he didn't know in the US because he was too young to legally own a company.[4][5] In 2003 Globals Inc. lost a business deal with a Singaporean e-Commerce company reportedly because the then 17-year-old CEO was too young to sign a memorandum of understanding.[6] As of 2007, Globals have served more than 200 clients worldwide through presence in 11 countries.[7]
In 2005, Mr Gopinath was the youngest among the 175 recipients of the Karnataka state's Rajyotsava Award.[8] Mr. Gopinath is also a brand ambassador forPETA.[9]
On December 2, 2007, The European Parliament and International Association for Human Values conferred a “Young Achiever Award” on Mr. Gopinath at theEuropean Parliament, Brussels. He was invited to address the European Parliament and businessmen assembled in that parliament.[10]
Mr. Gopinath was announced as a “Young Global Leader” for 2008-2009 by the World Economic Forum, Davos. In that position he would be involved in development programs across the world. He holds a Diploma on Global Leadership and Public Policy from the Harvard Kennedy School at the Harvard University. He is reported to be the youngest YGL in the World Economic Forum's history. This year's Young Global Leaders includes Suhas Gopinath along with Hollywood ActorLeonardo DiCaprio, Musician A. R. Rahman, American Vice President runner and Louisiana State Governor Bobby Jindal, Hotmail.com Founder Sabeer Bhatia.[11]
Suhas Gopinath was invited by the World Bank in November 2008 by the World Bank President
Two Horses - A Must Read!!!
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V.Prashannth-The Avatar
Two Horses
|
Principles for Success ( Nice Story )
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| Principles for Success
SUCCESS PRINCIPLES
MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE " Find the good. It's all around you. Find it, showcase it and you'll start Believing in it."
|
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Perceptions....nice read
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V.Prashannth-The Avatar
Someone rightly said.................. Give me some sunshine..Give me
some rain..Giv me another chance, I wanna growup once agn........
PERCEPTION :
. . .Something To Think About. .. .
Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in
2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces
for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand
people went through the station, most of them on
their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed
there was a musician playing. He slowed his
pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his
schedule.
4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the
money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then
looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along
hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again,
but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk,
turning his head all the time. This action was
repeated by several other children. Every parent, without
exception, forced their children to move on quickly.
45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and
listened for a short while.
About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.
The man collected a total of $32.
1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No
one applauded, nor was there any recognition. .
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell , one of
the greatest musicians in the world.
He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a
violin worth $3.5 million dollars.
Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston
where the seats averaged $100.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the
metro station was organized by the Washington Post
as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and
people's priorities .
The questions raised:
* In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour,
do we perceive beauty?
* Do we stop to appreciate it?
* Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be
this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the
best musicians in the world,
playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the
most beautiful instruments ever made.
How many other things are we missing?
Do we really extend a helping hand to our friends in their hour
of need?
Are we in a great hurry, driven by self interests only?
Do friendships mean something or are just the lines in the
sand ... time erases eventually ..
Something to think about ....
Help Desk - Jokes
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Trouble with word
Support: "Anee Backer for MAXX c, may I help you?"Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word."Support: "What sort of trouble?" Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",Support: "Went away?"Customer:"They disappeared."Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Customer: "Nothing."Support: "Nothing?"Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."Support: "Are you still in Word, or did you get out?" Customer: "How do I tell?"Support: "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"Customer: "What's a monitor?" Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"Customer: "I don't know."Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" Customer: ......"Yes, I think so."Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."Customer: ......"Yes, it is."Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" Customer: "No."Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."Customer: ......"Okay, here it is."Support: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Customer: "I can't reach."Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"Customer: "No."Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" Customer:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."Support: "Dark?Customer: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." Support: "Well, turn on the office light then."Customer:"I can't."Support: "No? Why not?"Customer: "Because there's a power outage."Support: "A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."Support: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"Support: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"Support: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Beautifull help desk conversations II
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
Customer: "Now what do I do?"Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'" Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."Customer: "How do you spell that?"
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
Beautiful customer's
After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."
-----------------------------------
A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as "hibernate." Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked. -----------------------------------
Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5.25-inch diskettes, but she had only a 3.5-inch disk drive on her computer. The technician said she had two options: Get a second disk drive, or use 3.5-inch diskettes. The customer called back later, now complaining that her disk drive was making a terrible noise. And this despite the fact that she was using a 3.5-inch diskette, she said. After a bunch of questions, the technician determined the caller had used a pair of scissors to trim the 5.25-inch diskettes to fit the 3.5-inch drive.
British Airways flight 602
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. "That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"
Beautifull help desk conversations
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."Customer: "Ok."Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No."Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
Support on cup holder
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
Technologically Challenged
Just in case you think you are TC ("Technologically Challenged"), the following is an excerpt from an article in the Wall Street Journal:1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.3. Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later, a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies. 4. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room. 5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. 6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually. 7. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer," The user had tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer. 8. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened," The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse. 9. Another customer called Compaq Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What Power switch?" 10. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with that disk. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in.," The user hadn't realized "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
Test your IQ
Here's a one question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day......
A person who can't speak wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of
brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper, and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.
He opens his mouth and says.
I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."
Man Women Difference
Posted by
V.Prashannth-The Avatar
 Men women difference
What is the difference between men and women? 1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. 4. A woman marries aman expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage. 6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! 9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance. |
Engineers - Jokes
Posted by
V.Prashannth-The Avatar
Top TEN things Engineering school didn't teach you
1. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.2. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.3. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook. 4. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use.5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life. 6. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?7. Managers, not engineers, rule the world.8. Always try to fix the hardware with software.9. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software. 10. Dilbert is not a comic strip, it's a documentary.
A MBA and an Engineer
A MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend."Look up at the sky and tell me what you see The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars." The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?"The MBA ponders for a minute:
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.What does it tell you?"The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks.
"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".
Traveling in a train
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant."Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Tickets, please!" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant."Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.When they board the train all three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets, please!"
Engineers at the urinals
Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Hewlett Packard, we are trained to be extremely thorough." The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient." The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Apple Computer, Inc. we don't pee on our hands."
Typical engineer...
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.Priest: Hi, George. Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they? George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!(silence)Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
An enginner - for sure
Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day. The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine. As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, 'Head up or head down?'. 'Head up,' said the doctor. 'Blindfold or no blindfold?' 'No blindfold.' So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine. 'Head up or head down?' said the executioner. 'Head up.' 'Blindfold or no blindfold?' 'No blindfold.' So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade and stopped an inch above the chemist's neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine. 'Head up or head down?' 'Head up.' 'Blindfold or no blindfold?' 'No blindfold.' So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out: 'WAIT! I see what the problem is!'
Surgeons discussing work
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fifth surgeon says "I like engineers . They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."
Measuring a flag pole
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole.They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground where he can measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We needed to know the height, and he gave us the length!"
India - jokes
Posted by
V.Prashannth-The Avatar
A mug of beer..
An insect falls into a mug of beer...African : Takes the insect out and drinks the beerChinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer awayJapanese : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.Indian: Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, blames it as long term ISI operation, terms the insect as a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the beer and demand that US should declare Pakistan a terrorist state.
Bihari lecturer in english
A new Bihari lecturer was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him.So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he didn't know how to put it in English.. He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me". The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class..........
Great Thattuvangal Part 1
The Collections of Thattuvangal...* Engineering Collegela Padichi Engineer Agalam. Aana Presidency Collegela Padichi President Aga Mudiyuma???
* Bus Stop Kitta Wait Panna Bus Varum... Full Stop Kitta Wait Panna Full Varuma???
* Airtel Mobile Vachiirundalum... Aircel Mobile Vachiirundalum... Thumumbodhu Hutch Nu Than Satham Varum
* Oorukae Kaekura Madhiri Sathama Korratai Vittalum... Un Korattaya Nee Kaekamudiyadhu....
* Gold Vachi Gold Chain Pannalam Ana Cycle Vachi Cycle Chain Panna Mudiyuma???
* Enna Than 500 Km Speedula Puyal Kathu Adhichalum, Cycleluku Pump Vachi Than Kathu Adikanum.... Enna Ulagam Idhu...
* Auto Driver Ala Auto Otta Mudiyam!!! But Screw Driverala Screw Otta Mudiyum A???
* Nee Evalo Periya Padipalliya Irundhalum Exam Hall La Poi Padikka Mudiyadhu..
* School Testla Bit Adikkalaam......... College Testla Bit Adikkalaam....... Aanna Blood Testla Bit Adikka Mudiyaadhu........
* Enna Than Naai Nandri Ullatha Than Irunthalum?? Athala Thank You Solla Mudeyathu!!! Idhuthan Valkai
* Lunch Bagla Lunch Kondu Poha Mudiyum... But School Bagla Shoola Kondu Pohamudiyumaaaa?
* Aayiram Than Irundhalum Aayirathi Onnu Than Perusu....
Indian's Business Mind
A RICH INDIAN INTO A NEWYORK CITY BANK AND ASKED FOR A LOAN OFFICER. HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO EUROPE ON BUSINESS FOR TWO WEEKS AND NEEDED TO BORROW $ 5000. THE LOAN OFFICER SAID THE BANK WOULD NEED SOME SOME SECURITY FOR SUCH LOAN. THE INDIAN THEN HANDED OVER THE KEYS TO A ROLLS ROYCE THAT WAS PARKED ON THE STREET IN FRONT OF THE BANK. EVERYTHING VERIFIED AND THE LOAN OFFICER ACCEPTED THE CAR AS COLLATERAL FOR THE LOAN. AN EMPLOYEE THEN DROVE THE ROLLS INTO THE BANK'S UNDERGROUND GARAGE AND PARKED IT THERE. TWO WEEKS LATER THE INDIAN RETURNED,REPAID THE $5000 AND THE INTEREST , WHICH CAME TO $15.41. THE OFFICER SAID " WE DO APPRECIATE BUSINESS AND THIS TRANSACTION HAS WORKED OUT VERY NICELY,BUT WE ARE A BIT PUZZLED. WHILE YOU WERE AWAY, WE CHECKED & FOUND THAT YOU ARE A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE. WHAT PUZZLES IS YOU WOULD BORROW $5000?" THE INDIAN SAID:" WHERE ELSE IN NEWYORK CAN I PARK MY CAR FOR $15.41?
Funny doubte
i've some doubts..
SHARE ME :i've some doubts.. Can u please clarify me..1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought) 2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows) 4. Can you cry under water? (let me try)5. Why do people say, "you've been working like adog" when dogs just sitaround all day? (I think they meant something else)6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows) 7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by oneseyes)9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stayand watch)10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oilis made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from? (No comments) 11. What should one call a male ladybird? (Nocomments)12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they rememberthat they forgot? (can somebody help )13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can) 14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! Able to hear it? (got to think scientifically) 16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?17. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)18. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? 19. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars?
3 Cockroaches
3 Cockroaches r going in a line the
first cockroach sings ASHIK BANAYA
song then remaining 2 Cockroaches
dies..do you know why?
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because ASHIK BANAYA is a HIT song
Child Jokes
Posted by
V.Prashannth-The Avatar
Two mischievous brothers
Two brothers, about 8 and 10 years old, were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it usually turned out they had a hand in it.
Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them, so hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys. The father replied, "Sure, do that before I kill them!"The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest. The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk he sat behind. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing.Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" Again the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the priest leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Where is God?" The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We are in BIIIIG trouble." The older boy asked, "What do you mean, BIIIIG trouble?" His brother replied, "God is missing and they think we did it!!!"
Dropped the toothbrush
My son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush, held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
Letter to GOD
l
ittle boy wrote a letter to God, asking him for $100. He addressed to envelope "God", put his return address on it, and dropped it in the corner mailbox. The postmaster thought this was such a nice gesture from a young child and decided to sent this letter on to President. President was so touched by the little boy's sincerity that he told his secretary to send the boy $5. Upon receiving the money, the boy wrote the following thank you letter:"Dear God- Thank you for the money. I noticed you sent it through Washington D.C. and of course, they have deducted $95. Love, Joey"
Apple turning brown
A four-year-old boy was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?""Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidise, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color." There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?"
Help in homework
Son: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?Father: No, son, it wouldn't be right.Son: Well, you could try.
Little minds - pool of doubts
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Kids in school think quick
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
Infant questions
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby."With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"She answered, "He sure is."Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"
Little heart
Little Johnny was attending his first day of school.The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag. "When his eyes fell upon Little Johnny, he noticed his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. "Little Johnny, I will not continue until you put your hand over your heart."Little Johnny replied, "It is over my heart." After several attempts to get Little Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?""Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie!"
Girl about a whale
A girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.By now irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
Praying at bed time
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.At bedtime, the two boys kneeled down beside their beds to say their prayers. Suddenly, the youngest boy began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother leaned over, nudged his younger brother, and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."The little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
A boy
Thw boss dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone else there in your house?" the boss asked the child. "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the Boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," whispered the child. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice."What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.In an awed hushed voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle: "Me."
Boy in thirst
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:
"Da-ad...""What?""I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out."Five minutes later:
"Da-aaaad..."
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??""I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad...""WHAT??!!""When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
Lakers fan
A Kindergarten teacher tells her class she's a BIG Lakers fan.
She's really excited about it and asks the kids if they're Lakers fans too.Everyone wants to impress the teacher and says they're Lakers fans too, except ONE kid, ...named Josh. The teacher looks at Josh and says, "Josh, you're not a Lakers fan?"He says, "Nope, Im a Sacrmento Kings fan!" She says, "Well why are you a Sacrmento Kings fan and not a Lakers fan?" Josh says, "Well, my mom is a Sacrmento Kings fan, and my dad is a Sacrmento Kings fan, so I'm a Sacrmento Kings fan."The teacher's not real happy. She's a little hot under the collar. She says, "Well, if your moms an idiot, and your dads a moron, then what would you be?!" Josh says, "Then I'd be a Laker fan!"
36 hours in transit.
A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit. She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids. Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?""Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine." The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?""Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."
Teacher & little boy
Teacher: Where does God live?Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.Teacher: Why do you say that?Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says,
'God, are you still in there?'
H I J K L M N O
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!TEACHER : What are you talking about?DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
Out of the mouths of babes...
Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered.
For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.
At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God is doing a lot better job lately."
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